Song of Songs series notes–“Bond. James Bond.”

Posted: May 31, 2010 in Uncategorized

How do you speak to the opposite sex? How do you speak to your husband and wife?  Men learn language from all kinds of jacked up sources ranging from hip hop lyrics to Comedy Central.  Women may learn how to speak and act from reality shows like The Hills and daytime soap operas.

Is it any wonder men and women have a hard time communicating?

Don’t stress, my friends, God has an answer. 
 
Let’s look at the Song of Songs 1:15-2:7

15 Behold, you are beautiful, my love;
behold, you are beautiful;
your eyes are doves.

She

16 Behold, you are beautiful, my beloved, truly delightful.
Our couch is green;
17 the beams of our house are cedar;
our rafters are pine.

2:1 I am a rose of Sharon,
a lily of the valleys.

He

2 As a lily among brambles,
so is my love among the young women.

She

3 As an apple tree among the trees of the forest,
so is my beloved among the young men.
With great delight I sat in his shadow,
and his fruit was sweet to my taste.
4 He brought me to the banqueting house, 
and his banner over me was love.
5 Sustain me with raisins;
refresh me with apples,
for I am sick with love.
6 His left hand is under my head,
and his right hand embraces me!
7 I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem,
by the gazelles or the does of the field,
that you not stir up or awaken love
until it pleases.

Now, let’s take a closer look 1:15-16, once again, the husband soothes his wife’s insecurities and she responds with an invitation to “business time.”  Guys, you cannot tell your wife that she is beautiful too much!  Abuse the phrase!
 
2:1-2, she is stating that she is soft and delicate and he responds that all women are hags compared to her!  Good call, Solomon!
 
2:3, she then  responds by stating that no other man compares to him and that his “fruit” tastes good to her.  Do I really need to explain?
 
2:4-5, this is the ancient Hebrew equivalent of “talking dirty” if you will.   If a husband and wife are truly okay with this and the language isn’t over the top then that’s fine BUT, guys, make sure she is truly comfortable and not just trying to please you in some sick, co-dependent way!
 
2:6, she gives her husband instructions on what to do. The Hebrew word translated as “embrace” often means to stimulate sexually. Ladies, you can tell your husbands what and how to do things.  He may act like he’s James Bond and has this all figured out…but you know better.
 
2:7, it ends with her telling her girlfriends that they should follow her lead.
 
So, what can God teach us from all of this? First of all, gents, remember that foreplay begins long before anything physical takes place.  It is intimately involved with how you speak to your wife!

Develop a common vocabulary even a sexual one for each other.  This will take work, but it’s worth it.
 
If you don’t know how to even start then read up on it!!!  Buy “The Gift of Sex” or “Celebration of Sex” or something else that will help.
 
In the end, this is about being unselfish.  It is about getting to truly know your spouse and developing a middle ground where you can both speak to each other clearly and even complement one another on anything…even in the bedroom. 

We are only able to do this because of what Christ has done for us. Yes, you heard that right.  You will not have a good sexual relationship as husband and wife unless Jesus is at the center of your life because you will simply be too selfish to make it work.

You see, Jesus lived a perfect life that we can not live in order to grant his followers his own standing before the Father at the end of time.  So, ultimately, we are judged by his life, not ours.  Yet, God doesn’t contract amnesia.  He knows we have sinned against Him and because God is the greatest good, any sin against him, by definition, is the greatest evil.  Who pays for that? Again, for those who follow Jesus, he paid the penalty for us.  

Jesus lived for us and he died for us…once we take this into our hearts, then we can live for him and for others…including our spouse.  And, grace upon grace, our unselfish love of our spouse leads to greater love for us as well.  

How can anyone not love this God?

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