Sermon Notes: Want to Stay Married? Be Creative and Free (Song of Songs 7-8)

Posted: August 16, 2010 in Uncategorized

There is an old saying that if you put a quarter in a jar every time you have sex during your first year of marriage and then take a quarter out every time you have sex for the rest of your life then you will still have quarters in the jar when you die.
But does it have to be that way?
What does God have to say?
Song of Songs 7:11-8:14
11 Come, my beloved,
let us go out into the fields
and lodge in the villages; 
12 let us go out early to the vineyards
and see whether the vines have budded,
whether the grape blossoms have opened
and the pomegranates are in bloom.
There I will give you my love.
13 The mandrakes give forth fragrance,
and beside our doors are all choice fruits,
new as well as old,
which I have laid up for you, O my beloved.

8:1 Oh that you were like a brother to me
who nursed at my mother’s breasts!
If I found you outside, I would kiss you,
and none would despise me.
2 I would lead you and bring you
into the house of my mother—
she who used to teach me.
I would give you spiced wine to drink,
the juice of my pomegranate.
3 His left hand is under my head,
and his right hand embraces me!
4 I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem,
that you not stir up or awaken love
until it pleases.

5 Who is that coming up from the wilderness,
leaning on her beloved?

Under the apple tree I awakened you.
There your mother was in labor with you;
there she who bore you was in labor.

6 Set me as a seal upon your heart,
as a seal upon your arm,
for love is strong as death,
jealousy is fierce as the grave. 
Its flashes are flashes of fire,
the very flame of the Lord.
7 Many waters cannot quench love,
neither can floods drown it.
If a man offered for love
all the wealth of his house,
he would be utterly despised.

As I’ve said many times before, this is a very old song with very, very outdated language, so what is going on?

7:11 She offers to take her husband away for weekend and have sex in the woods…there is not a husband alive who would say “no” to this! If he does, a church should bring him under discipline!
7:13 she promises “new and old” or his favorite moves and positions and new ones!  
8:1 this isn’t as weird as it seems.  PDA was looked down upon in ancient Israel unless you were family.  She is saying that she can’t keep her hands off of him.
8:2 huh? Part of this is superstitious and part of this reflects on how a mother would teach her daughter moves!  Weird? Yes! But cut them slack, it was an ancient culture and they didn’t have The View and reality TV to talk about!
8:3 She tells him what she wants–put one hand here and one hand here!  Ladies, this kind of direction is necessary because men do not know what they are doing…I probably don’t have to tell those of you who have been married for a while but for those who will be…keep it mind!
8:5 they return from their tryst and he praises the very day she was born!
8:6-7 a seal was a sign of ownership…this serves as a bridge to a flashback to her childhood.
8:8ff we learn that her brothers took the place of her father and raised her to be chaste. 
8:13 she is trying to say goodbye to her girlfriends but he tells her that he can’t wait to hear her whisper certain words…what are they?
8:14 “hurry and let’s take off again.” 

The Church needs to look at how we teach love and sex and marriage.  We need to help singles to be disciplined and see marriage as God’s “game on!”  as a grace upon grace. 

Too often churches don’t trust God’s Spirit and instead rely on scare tactics to keep kids away from sex.  Yet, their harsh words carry over into marriage and create problems. 

Let us commit to teaching young singles that waiting for sex is a spiritual discipline but that it is well worth the effort especially if you are creative and free!

Wives and husbands need to keep their romance alive by being each other’s fantasies.  They need to take the advice of Solomon and his wife and run off to be together and try new things…and all the while, we need to thank God for it! For this is a great gift.

Have you seen the movie The Book of Eli? Eli receives a revelation from God that he is to carry the last Bible to a place by the sea that will cherish it.  He wanders for decades through a barren wasteland with no friends or family. 

Late in the film, the villain, played by Gary Oldman, sarcastically states to Eli, “God is good!” To which Eli replies in earnest, “Every day.” 

Most of you know that we don’t deserve the great grace of God’s salvation offered via the life and death of his son but we also don’t deserve a life this side of eternity that is that different from Eli.  We deserve to wander the earth like Cain and Lucifer but God is a gracious God who gives and gives and gives.  He gives us sleep, coffee, food, sunrises, friends, pets, children, Arcade Fire and even love, marriage and sex.  He gives to each of us something beautiful every day.  You might say he romances us every day.

May we do the same to the spouse God has given us or will give you.
Grace and peace.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s